Jesus

Jesus Christ was a very talented child when he was young. The letters his teachers sent to his parents read like this:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Christ,
Jesus is doing well in school. He is a delight to teach. Encourage him to keep up the good work. We are very surprised at his extensive knowledge about God.

Jesus’ mother, Mary Christ, was very pleased.
“Jeez, I’m so proud of you. I always told you, you are son of God.”
“Mom, please, how many times did I tell you not to call me Jeez?”
“But, Jeez, that’s such an adorable name!”

Jesus’ father, Joseph Christ, was a carpenter. He was proud of his son as well because he wanted Jesus to be a white-collar worker.
“Jesus, I have something very important to tell you.”
“What is it?”
“I think your Mom cheated on me. I think you aren’t my biological son.”
“What is that?”
“You know how your Mom always calls you son of God and stuff?”
“Dad, she didn’t cheat on you with God.”

“Oh.”


Jesus graduated Bethville High School with a GPA of 4.3. With his outstanding academic achievements and preaching activities, he was admitted to Honors College at Nazareth University and majored in theology. Mary Christ was very concerned about her son’s college life.
“Jeez, don’t drink and don’t do drugs.”
“Mom, I thought I was going to college.”
“And don’t hang out with atheists.”
“Mom, I won’t be able to make any friends at all that way.”
“And don’t have premarital sex. Women are evil, Jeez, understand?”
“Mom, you are a woman.”
“Don’t marry at all.”
“Mom, actually, that is a very valid argument.”
“Oh, Jeez, I’m too worried. College is evil.”
“Bye, Mom.”



I'm liking this. My parents are going to be very offended when they see this. Fortunately, they don't speak English.